President’s Corner

I scanned the internet today and found some of my favorite Aviation Quotes. There are hundreds more than I have listed below. Many of these you have heard but some might be new to you. Some of the following are a bit off color. I didn’t write them just remember, some Navy and Air Force Pilots have a way of saying things that can be a bit colorful. Have fun and enjoy our aviation humor.

Ron Wright
EAA Chapter 1541

On Basic Flying:

  • Try to stay in the middle of the air.
  • Do not go near the edges of it.
  • The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more difficult to fly there.

Things to Think About:

  • It is far better to arrive late in this world than early in the next.
  • You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck.
  • Regarding engine power: Lots is good, more is better, and too much is just enough.
  • If you’re ever faced with a forced landing at night, turn on the landing lights to see the landing area. If you don’t like what you see, turn ‘em back off.
  • One peek is worth a thousand instrument crosschecks.
  • Experience is a hard teacher. First comes the test, then the lesson.
  • Always remember you fly an airplane with your head, not your hands.
  • Never let an airplane take you somewhere you brain didn’t get to five minutes earlier.
  • You know you’ve landed with the wheels up when it takes full power to taxi.
  • A smooth touchdown in a simulator is as exciting as kissing your sister.
  • If it’s ugly, it’s British; if it’s weird, it’s French; and if it’s ugly and weird, it’s Russian.
  • New FAA motto: We’re not happy, till you’re not happy.
  • A grease-job landing is 50 percent luck; two in a row are entirely luck; three in a row and someone’s lying.
  • There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing: Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.

The Greatest Lies in Aviation:

  • I’m from the FAA and I’m here to help you.
  • Me? I’ve never busted minimums.
  • We will be on time, maybe even early.
  • Pardon me, ma’am, I seem to have lost my jet keys.
  • I have no interest in flying for the airlines.
  • I fixed it right the first time, it must have failed for other reasons.
  • All that turbulence spoiled my landing.
  • I’m a member of the mile high club.
  • I only need glasses for reading.
  • I broke out right at minimums.
  • The weather is gonna be alright; it’s clearing to VFR.
  • Don’t worry about the weight and balance — it’ll fly.
  • If we get a little lower I think we’ll see the lights.
  • I’m 22, got 6000 hours, a four year degree and 3000 hours in a Lear.
  • We shipped the part yesterday.
  • All you have to do is follow the book.
  • This plane outperforms the book by 20 percent.
  • We in aviation are overpaid, underworked and well respected.
  • Oh sure, no problem, I’ve got over 2000 hours in that aircraft.
  • I have 5000 hours total time, 3200 are actual instrument.
  • No need to look that up, I’ve got it all memorized.
  • Sure I can fly it — it has wings, doesn’t it?
  • We’ll be home by lunchtime.
  • Your plane will be ready by 2 o’clock.
  • I’m always glad to see the FAA.
  • We fly every day — we don’t need recurrent training.
  • It just came out of annual — how could anything be wrong?
  • I thought YOU took care of that.
  • I’ve got the field in sight.
  • I’ve got the traffic in sight.
  • Of course I know where we are.
  • I’m SURE the gear was down.